"You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded."
"In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where... you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure."
"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of *his* family."
(to the multiracial Karen) "Wow, you look really exotic- was your dad a G.I.?"
MICHAEL SCOTT
Played by: Steve Carrell
Role: Obnoxious Boss
PL 0 (10)
STRENGTH 0
STAMINA 0
AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0
DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -1
AWARENESS -2
PRESENCE -1
Skills:
Expertise (Paper) 4 (+3)
Expertise (Pop Culture) 4 (+3)
Expertise (Ice Skating) 4 (+3)
Expertise (Hockey) 4 (+4)
Expertise (Paper Salesman) 8 (+7)
Advantages:
Ultimate Paper Salesman
Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 10)
Initiative +0
Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +1, Will +3
Complications:
Reputation (Idiotic Man-Child)- Most of the people in Michael's life either consider him a fool or a selfish jerk.
Relationship (Holly Flax)- Michael fell very quickly for the nerdy Holly, but they were forced to break up when she was transferred upon knowledge of their relationship getting to Michael's boss. He eventually quits work and moves away to be with her.
Enemy (Toby From HR)- “If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice". Michael despises everything about Toby, viewing him as an evil killjoy. He spent a fortune on a fake head for his
Michael Scarn movie just so he could murder something that looked like Toby in his movie.
Responsibility (Dunder-Mifflin)- Michael has a lot of misguided loyalty to the company he's worked for most of his adult life.
Phobia (Dying Alone)- Michael desperately wants to be in a relationship.
Obsession (Gaining Respect)- Michael was teased and ostracized all his life; he now desperately wants people to like him. Steve Carrell played Michael "as if he thought the documentary would be watched by Jennifer Aniston". He wants attention so badly he tried to push Phyllis's father back into his wheelchair because it was spoiling his own "moment" of walking her down the aisle.
Secret (Scott's Tots)- Ten years ago, Michael made a promise to a group of disadvantaged black schoolchildren that he was going to pay their way through school. Because he assumed by then he'd be rich. Now they've come to collect, and he's an unsuccessful businessman with no savings.
Total: Abilities: -8 / Skills: 24--12 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (10)
-How do you stat up someone who explicitly SUCKS at everything but selling paper? Michael is so... messed up that he virtually never dated until the third season of the show, most of his co-workers at least dislike him and avoid him whenever necessary, he writes his e-name as "LittleKidLover" so everyone will know "What I'm about" (he thinks it's so women will know he wants to HAVE children), he thinks "Queer as F*ck" is the name of a TV Show, and when he makes pretend he's "Survivorman", he eats the first pile of mushrooms he sees growing next to a tree. He thinks that a "hysterectomy" removed Meredith's vagina, and basically outed Oscar to the entire office by casually talking about his being gay. He also happens to be an idiot who wants to be seen as cool, smart and funny, which is why he repeats Chris Rock's n-word filled monologue "Black People vs. N***ers" uncensored in the workplace, invents a "Mary Sue" OC who is the best secret agent ever (married to Catherine Zeta-Jones), and more.
-His lighter moments, though, include times of extreme loyalty to his staff, defensiveness of people he's close to, and times when he authentically shows caring. Jim points out that Michael Scott would "never do that" when another Dunder Mifflin boss quits his job and goes to Staples, thus putting his entire staff out of work. And he made Pam feel better after a poor showing of her art, demanding to buy the work and place it in the office. Maybe his greatest moment, though, was when he found out Jim was in love with Pam (who was engaged to another man). Michael, the perennial joker, just turns to Jim and tells him to "never, ever, ever give up". It's established that though he's a selfish dolt (when Phyllis's father is about to steal his thunder by standing up out of his wheelchair to walk Phyllis down the aisle at her wedding, an upset Michael- who was pushing the wheelchair in the ceremony- tried to push him back in), it's more due to thoughtlessness and a desire to be liked and respected than out of malice.
-Case in point: in the show's must uncomfortable, cringey episode (next to
Dinner Pary, it turns out that years ago, Michael told a group of disadvantaged black kids that he would pay for college. Not because he's a dick, but because he's condescending (of course they're all black) and assumes he's better than he is (he figured he'd be rich by then), he over-promises and leaves "Scott's Tots" hanging at great humiliation to himself. In another moment, Michael's branch of Dunder-Mifflin is to close down and be absorbed into another, but the manager of THAT branch leverages his job to take a job with Staples, resulting in the reverse happening, costing all that man's employees their jobs. As Jim said "Michael Scott would never do that". In another episode, he brings Pam incredible joy when he makes a big deal out of her painting of the office building- she was feeling horrible after Oscar's art snob boyfriend derided it, and Michael's genuine love for it delighted her.
-Then there's his ultra-cute relationship with fellow dork Holly Flax, which was ended when the CEO of the company caught them dating (she was in PR, which wasn't kosher for the company as far as inter-company dating went).
-Steve Carrell gained a movie career based off of this show, and eventually left the series- in a fantastic moment, the man who would never once listen to reason actually DOUBTED HIMSELF as to whether or not he should ask Holly to marry him. And so he asked Jim, Pam, Oscar and anyone else who usually doubted him or lectured him about the correct thing to do... and in an equally-great moment, all of his biggest critics said YES. And so Michael asked Holly, she said yes, and they moved away. Michael would return in the series finale, now grey-haired and a happy father.
-In fact, Michael is shown doing many things, but sucking at all of them, hence his low scores everywhere. He's in an Improv Acting class... but all his characters are Michael Scarn, FBI Agent, who steals every scene by demanding everyone get on the ground and be arrested by him. Truly, the only thing he excels at is selling paper, which leads to one of the show's best moments- where this idiotic, childish person actually comes in, makes friends with a potential buyer (over a shared history in the town, and dirty jokes), then NAILS THE SALE in spectacular fashion. Michael is an idiot who's only worth 5 power points, but he'll be damned if you're going to outsell him. And God Help You if you mess with his love for Holly (an adorable relationship brought into the fifth season), or his employees in general.
. Starting out as the put-upon, confused Temp thrown into this bizarre, crazy world, Ryan is meant to show the "common man's" view of just how crazy everything else. While Jim is the cynical, modern-day slacker who's stuck here, Ryan is the one staring down the chamber of a gun, watching what waits for him. Ryan is seen as a somewhat innocent guy who doesn't deserve bad things, and is openly horrified at the notion of working for a place like Dunder-Mifflin. The only negative thing we see early on is him bringing Michael in for a lecture at his college... where it's an attack on how obsolete businesses like Dunder-Mifflin are. Michael, annoyed, counters that Ryan "has never sold any paper!". And this kind of clues things in for the future- Ryan thinks he KNOWS a lot of stuff, but is actually young, inexperienced and not as good as he thinks he is.
