The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

Post by Ares »

We've all heard the stories about comic creators doing incredibly petty or mean-spirited things to characters they don't like, or to the pet characters of creators they hate. Keith Giffen has killed off Karate Kid 3 times because he thinks Super Karate is dumb. Peter David and Erik Larsen had a back and forth over a fight between the Hulk and Dr. Octopus. Final Crisis was basically one long, incomprehensible diatribe by Grant Morrison rejecting Alan Moore's take on Superman. John Byrne took Jim Shooter's self-insert character and had him destroy Shooter's hometown, while then having Guy Gardner humiliate a stand-in for the character over in DC.

And much as we like to think we'd be all noble and avoid such things, if we were given a writing position at Marvel or DC and given a good degree of autonomy, we would likely at least be tempted to use our new writing positions to get some payback on things we feel other writers, especially the modern crop, have done.

A few quick ones from me:

- I'd bring back the classic Captain Marvel at DC, and include a story where he gets hit with the Bizarro ray, creating an imperfect clone of Cap. This clone would exactly like the Nu-52 Shazam (but with a Bizarro face) and would quote that character directly (but with Bizarro speak).

- I'd have Karate Kid beat the shit out of Lobo, while Lobo says things Keith Giffen has said in the past.

- I'd have an evil Amazon from Paradise Island steal some artifact of power from a male hero (maybe the Golden Fleece from the Olympian), and then have her recruit a group of female villains who try to act like heroes while also secretly being villains trying to tear down the superhero community from within. The female villains would be obvious analogies of Riri Williams, Shuri, America Chavez, Kate Bishop, Nadia Van Dyne, Gwenpool, Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl, Kamala Kahn, Viv Vision with the amazon being an obvious analog for Jane-Thor with some Chelsea Cain Mockingbird. Make them all act like the children of Anita Sarkeesian. Use this as an opportunity to rag on Marvel, Cain and also poke the Amazons a little, pointing out that it's easy to complain about men when you're an immortal living on an island with zero population growth, all the food you can eat, not disease and no other cultures you need to share your land with.

- I'd want to write something at Marvel where the Runaways and some of the characters from Avengers Academy finally get some comeuppance for their bad behavior. Like, have the Runaways encounter Spider-Man, and unlike every other hero they've met, he doesn't fall for their BS just because they're kids, and he calls them out on being terrible people. I'd probably also have the Wrecking Crew show up at their normal power levels and show the kids that the only reason they had a shot earlier was because the WC had depowered themselves further. Likewise, I'd want Hazmat from Avengers Academy to really get some payback for basically being an awful person who landed a really nice guy, solely because she was cute and he couldn't be hurt by her radiation powers. Have Butterball/Boulder and Iron Fist especially call her out on her behavior.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ares wrote: Wed Oct 24, 2018 11:59 pm - I'd have an evil Amazon from Paradise Island steal some artifact of power from a male hero (maybe the Golden Fleece from the Olympian), and then have her recruit a group of female villains who try to act like heroes while also secretly being villains trying to tear down the superhero community from within. The female villains would be obvious analogies of Riri Williams, Shuri, America Chavez, Kate Bishop, Nadia Van Dyne, Gwenpool, Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl, Kamala Kahn, Viv Vision with the amazon being an obvious analog for Jane-Thor with some Chelsea Cain Mockingbird. Make them all act like the children of Anita Sarkeesian. Use this as an opportunity to rag on Marvel, Cain and also poke the Amazons a little, pointing out that it's easy to complain about men when you're an immortal living on an island with zero population growth, all the food you can eat, not disease and no other cultures you need to share your land with.
Wow.

Imagine being so blatantly misogynistic but lacking any self-awareness of that fact. I mean, Jeez...
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

Post by RUSCHE »

Scots Dragon wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 12:38 am
Ares wrote: Wed Oct 24, 2018 11:59 pm - I'd have an evil Amazon from Paradise Island steal some artifact of power from a male hero (maybe the Golden Fleece from the Olympian), and then have her recruit a group of female villains who try to act like heroes while also secretly being villains trying to tear down the superhero community from within. The female villains would be obvious analogies of Riri Williams, Shuri, America Chavez, Kate Bishop, Nadia Van Dyne, Gwenpool, Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl, Kamala Kahn, Viv Vision with the amazon being an obvious analog for Jane-Thor with some Chelsea Cain Mockingbird. Make them all act like the children of Anita Sarkeesian. Use this as an opportunity to rag on Marvel, Cain and also poke the Amazons a little, pointing out that it's easy to complain about men when you're an immortal living on an island with zero population growth, all the food you can eat, not disease and no other cultures you need to share your land with.
Wow.

Imagine being so blatantly misogynistic but lacking any self-awareness of that fact. I mean, Jeez...
He also mentioned what he would do to Lobo, Nu52 Captain Marvel as well, my interpretation is how small minded comic creators can be , the pettiness as to throw shade or downright disrespect to others work.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Scots Dragon wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 12:38 am
Ares wrote: Wed Oct 24, 2018 11:59 pm - I'd have an evil Amazon from Paradise Island steal some artifact of power from a male hero (maybe the Golden Fleece from the Olympian), and then have her recruit a group of female villains who try to act like heroes while also secretly being villains trying to tear down the superhero community from within. The female villains would be obvious analogies of Riri Williams, Shuri, America Chavez, Kate Bishop, Nadia Van Dyne, Gwenpool, Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl, Kamala Kahn, Viv Vision with the amazon being an obvious analog for Jane-Thor with some Chelsea Cain Mockingbird. Make them all act like the children of Anita Sarkeesian. Use this as an opportunity to rag on Marvel, Cain and also poke the Amazons a little, pointing out that it's easy to complain about men when you're an immortal living on an island with zero population growth, all the food you can eat, not disease and no other cultures you need to share your land with.
Wow.

Imagine being so blatantly misogynistic but lacking any self-awareness of that fact. I mean, Jeez...
Image

Scots, I have really tried to be patient with you. And in that spirit, I'm going to try this as a fellow poster first.

Firsy, this message board is fairly light on rules. We're all adults here and I expect everyone to behave with a modicum of civility and respect for one another. I encourage the discussion of differing ideas so long as both parties are treated with respect. Personal attacks, including labeling someone a misogynist, are not allowed.

Secondly, criticizing characters, ideals, or movements that are female or feminist is not, in and of itself, misogyny, in much the same way that criticism is not in and of itself an attack on something. If you automatically equate criticism with hate, then you probably need to reevaluate a few things.

Thirdly, Marvel and DC have a long history of poking fun at each other through obvious stand-ins of the other company's characters. Marvel in particular has done so via the Squadron Supreme and their version of Hippolyta. The above is perfectly in keeping with the kind of jabs they take at each other.

Fourthly and finally, this thread is clearly labeled as "petty things you'd do as a comics creator". It's made with the knowledge that even if it's in keeping with the company's history, even if it's a genuine critique/criticism of something, it's still self-indulgent and petty. It this bothers you, then it might be time for that self-reflection I mentioned.

Now, as a poster, I want you to read all of that, digest it, and think carefully on any responses you make in the immediate future. Because your behavior at this point has been fairly consistent along these lines, and if you had said that to any poster but myself, I'd be talking to you as a Mod and not as a poster. So keep that in mind for any responses you make in the immediate future.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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RUSCHE wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:05 am He also mentioned what he would do to Lobo, Nu52 Captain Marvel as well, my interpretation is how small minded comic creators can be , the pettiness as to throw shade or downright disrespect to others work.
The thread was intended as a harmless little bit of harmless fun. Everyone has characters and creators they'd like to give a "Take That!" to, and comics are full of examples of this, some more mean-spirited than others. They range from anywhere from Dan Slott mildly pointing out how stupid and edgy Penance was, to things like Garth Ennis dedicating an entire series to hating on superheroes, to Dan DiDio and Joe Q using characters to mock fans.

So if someone had a problem with The Sentry, for instance, this would be the place to talk about how you'd have Thor or the Hulk beat him down while talking about how stupid he is.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ares wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:15 am
RUSCHE wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:05 am He also mentioned what he would do to Lobo, Nu52 Captain Marvel as well, my interpretation is how small minded comic creators can be , the pettiness as to throw shade or downright disrespect to others work.
The thread was intended as a harmless little bit of harmless fun. Everyone has characters and creators they'd like to give a "Take That!" to, and comics are full of examples of this, some more mean-spirited than others. They range from anywhere from Dan Slott mildly pointing out how stupid and edgy Penance was, to things like Garth Ennis dedicating an entire series to hating on superheroes, to Dan DiDio and Joe Q using characters to mock fans.

So if someone had a problem with The Sentry, for instance, this would be the place to talk about how you'd have Thor or the Hulk beat him down while talking about how stupid he is.
I think a little poke of the genre is cool and a wink, while some is downright painful to read. And frankly not everything should be taken too seriously on these forums. We all love comics, pop culture and it brings us together for our common love of such. I did not see any harm in this post or forum. Maybe it is just me. Plus the Sentry needs his ass kicked...haha.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

Post by Jabroniville »

- I'd have Karate Kid beat the shit out of Lobo, while Lobo says things Keith Giffen has said in the past.
Nothing will ever beat the boys in Hitman knocking him out, dressing him up in a wedding gown, and filming Bueno Excellente sodomizing him and then threatening to release the film if anything should ever happen to them.
- I'd have an evil Amazon from Paradise Island steal some artifact of power from a male hero (maybe the Golden Fleece from the Olympian), and then have her recruit a group of female villains who try to act like heroes while also secretly being villains trying to tear down the superhero community from within. The female villains would be obvious analogies of Riri Williams, Shuri, America Chavez, Kate Bishop, Nadia Van Dyne, Gwenpool, Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl, Kamala Kahn, Viv Vision with the amazon being an obvious analog for Jane-Thor with some Chelsea Cain Mockingbird. Make them all act like the children of Anita Sarkeesian. Use this as an opportunity to rag on Marvel, Cain and also poke the Amazons a little, pointing out that it's easy to complain about men when you're an immortal living on an island with zero population growth, all the food you can eat, not disease and no other cultures you need to share your land with.
Painting with a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT of a wide brush here, but the sentiment of Marvel especially using too many "Clone-A-Girl" characters lately is solid. To me, a team would be more ideal of they were as blunt as humanly possible in their parody of Marvel's obvious, on-the-nose attempts at diversity... but it's actually hard to make Marvel's ACTUAL attempt seem less ham-fisted.
Likewise, I'd want Hazmat from Avengers Academy to really get some payback for basically being an awful person who landed a really nice guy, solely because she was cute and he couldn't be hurt by her radiation powers. Have Butterball/Boulder and Iron Fist especially call her out on her behavior.
Wait, why is Hazmat awful? What'd she do lately?
Last edited by Jabroniville on Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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MY OWN PETTY ACTS:

* Bring The Sentry back to life, then kill him. Repeatedly. Like, multiple times. Because every time you kill and resurrect a character, you ruin just a little bit of their credibility and mess up a little more of their history... it's really the most effective thing you can do to destroy a character in a PERMANENT manner.

* Have many of Jeph Loeb & Chuck Austen's characters, in particular Romulus & Maximus Lobo, turn out to be the minions of some guy out to mess with Logan, thus disregarding all of their stupid history.

* Have someone figure out what happened to Star-Lord's brain to make him suddenly start behaving exactly like his movie counterpart instead of the character he was before. I'm not saying CHANGE HIM BACK, I'm just saying they should explain it.

* Have SOMEONE give Nadia Pym a helping of crap for her "Danny Chase-ing" of Spider-Man during Mark Waid's Avengers run- I don't think they EVER properly had that moment- it was just Nadia ripping on him and Spidey repeatedly having bad luck (which, granted, is very Spidey-like, but it made Nadia come off SO negatively).

* Have obvious parodies of Anita Sarkeesian and Zack from Diversity & Comics form super-teams and throw their biggest strawman arguments at each other, then have the ACTUAL superheroes arrive, point out why they're both close-minded dolts, and tell them to stop ruining fandom for EVERYBODY.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Jabroniville wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 5:54 am
- I'd have Karate Kid beat the shit out of Lobo, while Lobo says things Keith Giffen has said in the past.
Nothing will ever by the boys in Hitman knocking him out, dressing him up in a wedding gown, and filming Bueno Excellente sodomizing him and then threatening to release the film if anything should ever happen to them.
The other issue is that I'm not sure Keith Giffen really has any favorite characters, so it doesn't really work the same for him.
- I'd have an evil Amazon from Paradise Island steal some artifact of power from a male hero (maybe the Golden Fleece from the Olympian), and then have her recruit a group of female villains who try to act like heroes while also secretly being villains trying to tear down the superhero community from within. The female villains would be obvious analogies of Riri Williams, Shuri, America Chavez, Kate Bishop, Nadia Van Dyne, Gwenpool, Spider-Gwen, Squirrel Girl, Kamala Kahn, Viv Vision with the amazon being an obvious analog for Jane-Thor with some Chelsea Cain Mockingbird. Make them all act like the children of Anita Sarkeesian. Use this as an opportunity to rag on Marvel, Cain and also poke the Amazons a little, pointing out that it's easy to complain about men when you're an immortal living on an island with zero population growth, all the food you can eat, not disease and no other cultures you need to share your land with.
Painting with a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT of a wide brush here, but the sentiment of Marvel especially using too many "Clone-A-Girl" characters lately is solid. To me, a team would be more ideal of they were as blunt as humanly possible in their parody of Marvel's obvious, on-the-nose attempts at diversity... but it's actually hard to make Marvel's ACTUAL attempt seem less ham-fisted.
Plus it's hard to really outdo Marvel when they do this kind of parody of other companies. Remember that Hercules story with Not-Wonder Woman? Or any of the evil Squadron Supreme stuff?
Likewise, I'd want Hazmat from Avengers Academy to really get some payback for basically being an awful person who landed a really nice guy, solely because she was cute and he couldn't be hurt by her radiation powers. Have Butterball/Boulder and Iron Fist especially call her out on her behavior.
Wait, why is Hazmat awful? What'd she do lately?
It's less what she's done recently and more that the character has always been this really nasty, mean-spirited person. Her situation makes her sympathetic, she's got the whole Wildfire vibe of needing to wear a containment suit or hurt people. But whereas Drake was an entertaining ass whose love for Dawnstar humanized him, Hazmat was basically an unapologetic jerk to everyone. At one point she basically admits that her only real options amongst the Academy kids is Mettle or Boulder/Butterball, and when talking with Mettle about this she makes fun of Butterball because of his weight, something the guy literally has no control over because of his powers. She basically is just getting together with Mettle because she finds his skull face less gross than Butterball's weight. And poor Mettle is such a nice guy and so insecure about what he looks like now that he goes along with it because he doesn't think anyone else would love him like he is.

Like, I'd love for Butterball to have figured out how to actually get around the issues with his powers, where if you subject him to intense enough gravity even his muscles will strain and build up, so between that and working out as a practice dummy for superheroes in training, he builds himself up into someone with Luke Cage like durability and strength, as well as a similar muscular build. And when Hazmat sees him, she basically tries to cozy up to him, only for him to reveal that he heard what she said about back then, and tell her frankly that her personality is way more toxic than her powers.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Jabroniville wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 5:59 am * Have someone figure out what happened to Star-Lord's brain to make him suddenly start behaving exactly like his movie counterpart instead of the character he was before. I'm not saying CHANGE HIM BACK, I'm just saying they should explain it.
Yeah, the two aren't even remotely the same character, with comics Star-Lord being this mostly serious, military guy, while movie Star-Lord is this wise-cracking, insecure Han Solo wannabe. I think he got trapped in the Cancer-verse for a bit before escaping, and I'd probably try to play it off as whatever let him escape also de-aged him a bit, and between the younger body and maybe a change in body chemistry, he's decided to just enjoy his second chance at youth. He might also feel genuinely insecure at the constant lack of respect he keeps getting.
* Have SOMEONE give Nadia Pym a helping of crap for her "Danny Chase-ing" of Spider-Man during Mark Waid's Avengers run- I don't think they EVER properly had that moment- it was just Nadia ripping on him and Spidey repeatedly having bad luck (which, granted, is very Spidey-like, but it made Nadia come off SO negatively).
Did they ever explain why Nadia hates Spider-Man so much?
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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* Have SOMEONE give Nadia Pym a helping of crap for her "Danny Chase-ing" of Spider-Man during Mark Waid's Avengers run- I don't think they EVER properly had that moment- it was just Nadia ripping on him and Spidey repeatedly having bad luck (which, granted, is very Spidey-like, but it made Nadia come off SO negatively).
Did they ever explain why Nadia hates Spider-Man so much?
[/quote]

I don't think so, beyond her finding him flippant, annoying and undependable. She seemed to blame him a lot for the Parker Luck going on in his life.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Jabroniville wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 6:56 am
* Have SOMEONE give Nadia Pym a helping of crap for her "Danny Chase-ing" of Spider-Man during Mark Waid's Avengers run- I don't think they EVER properly had that moment- it was just Nadia ripping on him and Spidey repeatedly having bad luck (which, granted, is very Spidey-like, but it made Nadia come off SO negatively).
Did they ever explain why Nadia hates Spider-Man so much?
I don't think so, beyond her finding him flippant, annoying and undependable. She seemed to blame him a lot for the Parker Luck going on in his life.
Given the people she hangs out with in the Champions and G.I.R.L. (*snicker*), as well as her own personality, it seems kind of hypocritical.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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- Re-introduce Wendy Harris and Marvin White, complete with the origins E. Nelson Bridwell gave them back in the 1970s, and make them canon.

- Have the character designs for the would-be universe destroying Krona, AND Hector Hammond both subtly altered so they both look like Dan Didio.

- Do a story where we learn that William Burnside, as "Steve Rogers", sired a son, who in the late 1970s used a variation of the super-soldier serum (FLAG - Full Latent Ability Gain), to become "Captain America" briefly, complete with transparent shield used as a windscreen on his motorbike.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ares wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 2:08 am*snip*
Very well. I'll just try and refrain from commenting on such matters in the future. I just thought targetting quite so many heroines at once, and a major feminist critic whose supposed negative traits are really overstated was, to say the least, a bad look.

I can say however that I agree with your stance on Captain Marvel vs the New 52 'Shazam'. It's not even the name change that bugs me as such - though why they couldn't have changed it to Captain Thunder or something as per the original early concepts is beyond me - but just how out-of-character Billy is for most of the story. We do see glimmers of the real Billy Batson towards the end of it, but it felt unnecessary to make him that much of a little twerp. I do have to say that I liked the whole team of other supporting characters who were empowered by the different elements of the lightning bolt, which was a nice nod to the original concept, because expanding the Marvel family is something they should definitely do.




As for the sort of pettiness I'd indulge in, I'm not sure. As a mostly-DC fan I'd be reasonably tempted to do is just be extremely vicious towards the general changes of the New 52, and there are some changes I'd make. I don't know if they count as petty, but some might.

* Barbara Gordon suffers a physical accident and in the process loses the use of her legs again. Maybe not totally, but enough that her costumed crime-fighting career has to be put on hold and she becomes Oracle once again. Although I'm not physically disabled, the presence of a wheelchair-using superhero in comics was really important to me and I really dug the way her character had developed. I didn't care for the way the Killing Joke treated her in that respect, but a better way of treating the way she becomes disabled is more than possible.

Maybe she has a really gruelling adventure of sorts, and in order to save some people she has to risk her life in a way that causes an injury which reverses the spinal surgery she had. A willing sacrifice of her mobility in a heroic act. After this, give the batsuit back to Cassandra Cain or Stephanie Brown. Either one. Also Barbara marries Dinah Lance. You literally cannot tell me there isn't subtext there.

* The Legion of Super-Heroes and Justice Society are back as was prior to the New 52. As is Power Girl in her pre-Flashpoint form. I don't mind the new bearer of the title, and updating the original Kara Zor-L to become 'Power Woman' or something wouldn't be a tragedy in my eyes. Also make her queer because the amount of subtext in that area has been reaching critical mass for ages and, like with the earlier decision to reveal Wonder Woman's sexuality during the Rebirth stuff, it's really more of a 'no duh' that this point.

* I would make the original Alan Scott gay or at least bisexual. And ignore basically any criticism to 'changing someone's sexuality'. I think it'd be really interesting to explore the inner mindset of a man from that generation having closeted himself so far that even he doesn't fully realise his own sexuality. Hell, when I was originally posting as Narsil I didn't even actually fully realise what my own fucking gender was, so I can say from experience that it's pretty realistic. In the process I'd introduce a New Earth / Earth-0 / Prime-Earth / Whatever The Fuck They're Calling It Now version of Sam Zhao who rather pointedly does not die and can serve as a love interest.

* Have Apollo burn every last instance he has of his New 52 outfit and go back to his original better costume because fucking seriously.

* Have Billy Batson briefly become a version of Robin and officially adopted by Bruce Wayne because his name is literally Bat-son.

* Include a storyline that has Batman fighting a knock-off version of himself who's a complete anti-Islamic racist and bigot with an utterly incoherent and barely functional mindset, as a takedown of Frank Miller's Holy Terror.



* Over in Marvel, I'd bring back the Sentry. I would completely rewrite most of his background, ignoring half of it and downplaying the other half, and in the process completely rewrite him into being the sort of character who doesn't suck. There's an interesting kernel of an idea there; an ultra-powerful Superman type who is hindered by his own mental health issues, but I feel like it's been so horribly mishandled as a concept that it's almost begging for someone to come along and fix it.

One of the first things I'd do on that front? The Void and Sentry actually are different people, and the Void is essentially some kind of psychic parasite that's latched itself onto the Sentry and is feeding upon him while using reality warping to screw about with his position in the timeline. The second thing is that I'd remove his whole status as having been important to the Marvel Universe beyond having existed for a short while as a superhero prior to disappearing. His whole status as ultra-important would be the result of telepathic false memories and reality warping courtesy of the Void, which latched itself onto the Sentry early in his would-have-been career. The result of course would be ridding him of the Void and launching a solo series more inspired by something like Alan Moore's Supreme, or Age of the Sentry without the cynical edges.

* Also in Marvel, I'd make fun of literally every dumb crossover event from the past fifteen years, and completely revamp the nu-humans; they're not actually Inhuman-related at all, but in fact mutants whose X-genes were awakened by the terrigen mists. Most evidence to the contrary on this was faked by a thinly veiled version of Ike Perlmutter.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ken wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:33 am - Do a story where we learn that William Burnside, as "Steve Rogers", sired a son, who in the late 1970s used a variation of the super-soldier serum (FLAG - Full Latent Ability Gain), to become "Captain America" briefly, complete with transparent shield used as a windscreen on his motorbike.
I'll add to this; William Burnside is who the 'Hydra Cap' actually was because the real Steve Rogers being a Nazi is literally anathema to everything ever. Also the Reb!Cap should have explicitly fought Dracula as a nod to Christopher Lee being the villain in one of those films.


Also, along more similar notes, introduce Bruce Banner's cousin David Banner who undergoes his own gamma experiments and becomes an alternate and slightly weaker Hulk closer to the television series. Not entirely sure that's petty, I actually just really like the television series, and that version of the Hulk is different enough that it'd make for an interesting contrast.
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