The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ken
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

Post by Ken »

Ares wrote: Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:06 pm Cause if you're going to call yourself Captain Marvel, you should look the part.
So Carol should be dressed like the lady next to Spider-Woman?

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W: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.

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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ken wrote: Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:25 am
Ares wrote: Sat Mar 23, 2019 9:06 pm Cause if you're going to call yourself Captain Marvel, you should look the part.
So Carol should be dressed like the lady next to Spider-Woman?

Image
Heck, Zachary Levi should be dressed more like the lady next to Spider-Woman.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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That recent post I made on the Marvel Family reminded me of something else.

I'd do a Mortal Kombat/DCU vs Injustice special, based on the two games Netherrealm has done starring the DC Heroes. Basically, during the events of Justice League vs Mortal Kombat where the heroes are teaming up at the end, Injustice Superman decides to invade this merged universe since it could potentially allow him easier access to conquer other universes. The MK and DC heroes then team up against the Injustice heroes-turned-villains, we get some nice fights, and I'd have the MKvsDC version of Captain Marvel be the one to take down Injustice Superman. Basically have a long drawn out battle against this Superman that's trying to kill him, even trying the things that killed the Injustice Shazam, and showcase why that was stupid, and have Cap win fair and square.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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I would have batman go out in public and people just laugh at him and his fake rubber muscles. He would try his scarey gravelly vouce and people would laugh out loud "dude, you are dressed like a big rubber bat" meanwhile Punisher is getting high fives for looking cool and a little badass.
Collosus would stay human and beat on Magneto with a wooden baseball bat. He was always the hero who was never quite good enough to beat anybody.
He-man would come out. See "society of virtue" on he-man.
Someone would get Bruce Banner really stoned then kick him in the nuts.
Someone would string up some Pianowire in Kidflash's neighbourhood to see what happens when you hit it at mach20.
Lois Lane would die in childbirth for being dumb and annoying.
Charles Xavier would go mad from being in people's minds all the time. In a crossover J'onn would give him an asswhupping.
Raven/mystique gets an STD and all the people she had sex with (not realising she was not their loved one) have to be informed. Heh heh heh.
Kingpin has a heart attack and a stroke.
Thor learns to do something normal and stop speaking like a shakespearian actor.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -Albert Einstein
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ares wrote: Fri Oct 26, 2018 2:46 pm
RainOnTheSun wrote: Thu Oct 25, 2018 10:32 pm I'd give the Fantastic Four a clean win over the Hulk, too. Not a "Reed Richards makes a magic machine that saves the day" win, an actual combat win where all four members play an important part.
In that vein, I'd probably give the Thing an actual solo win over the Hulk, making it clear that the apparent strength gap between the two that's happened in recent years has mostly been psychological on Ben's part. The Hulk was one of the first guys after Ben gained super-strength that managed to defeat him, even though the fight itself was an epic-book long battle that Ben only barely lost. The next fight was very similar, but then they had a fight where Ben was only able to win with Sue's help. After that point, Ben basically resigned himself to the fact that the Hulk would win in a straight fight, and since then their battles have primarily been Ben trying to stall the Hulk until help arrives rather than trying to actually beat him.

Here, I'd make it clear to Ben that no help is coming, and that the Hulk has to be stopped, so that for the first time in forever, he fights the Hulk with literally everything he has got.
Grey hulk is also way smarter and just out-thunk him despite being less strong. It is clear you feel about ol'blue eyes the way I feel about Colossus, never really getting a chance to shine.
As for the fantastic 4 beating hulk, Reed Richards regularly ties up the Thing in his elastic arms. Have wonder girl do her force bubble in the brain trick and jobs done. I don't know if the hulk can be knocked out. His power seems to be "I can take what you can dish out +1"
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. -Albert Einstein
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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I'm not sure this would count as petty or not, but over in Jab's thread I just had this idea, so I'm putting it here as well.

*EDIT* I've since modified this idea and expanded on it a little later in the thread. Feel free to read it there.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Can we have Patsy as a supporting character, sort of their guide through Hell? Just because I'm a fan of the character and the only thing she's had recently was that awful solo series.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Shock wrote: Tue Jun 23, 2020 3:24 pm Can we have Patsy as a supporting character, sort of their guide through Hell? Just because I'm a fan of the character and the only thing she's had recently was that awful solo series.
Sure thing. Make it technically an Avengers story where folks like the main Avengers team, along with Patsy, Dr. Strange, Damian Hellstrom, and a few others are there to help, but the focus characters are Peter, Clint and Bobbi. I could definitely see Patsy being the 4th or 5th most important character, depending on if I decide to have Mary Jane be an active part of this too, maybe with some Iron Man armor or something similar. Make MJ an active participant in getting her marriage back, maybe even have her and Patsy bond over similar things, and have MJ comment that it's nice to have a cat-themed character she can get along with.
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- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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I would restore the barely-visible silhouetted batpenis to that Black Label issue that everyone went pointlessly apeshit over.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

Post by Ken »

Scots Dragon wrote: Tue Jun 23, 2020 4:31 pm I would restore the barely-visible silhouetted batpenis to that Black Label issue that everyone went pointlessly apeshit over.
"To the bat pole!!"
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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Ken wrote: Wed Jun 24, 2020 12:33 am
Scots Dragon wrote: Tue Jun 23, 2020 4:31 pm I would restore the barely-visible silhouetted batpenis to that Black Label issue that everyone went pointlessly apeshit over.
"To the bat pole!!"
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

Post by saint_matthew »

Scots Dragon wrote: Tue Jun 23, 2020 4:31 pmI would restore the barely-visible silhouetted batpenis to that Black Label issue that everyone went pointlessly apeshit over.
Where as I would add barely visible penis silhouettes to all the panels & have Bruce refer to his penis as his Bat-a-wang. :lol:

That is literally the most dickish thing I could think to do. :lol:
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Re: What's new with the big two: Marvel and DC Comics discussion thread.

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- I'd explain away why Peter Parker never made a fortune working for DuPont by revealing that while Peter designed and built his web shooters, he did not, in fact, invent web fluid. That rather is produced by a gland in his lower, lower back and that he has to regularly secrete fluid from said gland to put in the cartridges.

This will split the difference between the mechanical web shooters and the biological web shooters. Peter gaining the ability to produce a web line biologically makes sense, but spiders don't shoot webs from their limbs, they exude them from their butts.

- I'll change Mr. Freeze's civilian name BACK to Schimmel. Everything else about Victor Fries I'd keep, but the stupid Fries name is gone.

- I'd give the civilian name "Jervis Tetch" back to the second Mad Hatter (who I've heard is called "Hatman" these days), the red-haired hat collector. I'd keep the original Mad Hatter around too, but give him a new civilian name. I never understood why, when he was revivied in the 1980s why they had to give him the Jervis name, too.

- I'd introduce Bookworm, King Tut, and the Puzzler from the Batman TV show into comic book continuity; Puzzler, just to be killed off. I'd have the Riddle grown a mustache for one story, the one where he kills the Puzzler.
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W: So your work has not changed.
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Re: What's new with the big two: Marvel and DC Comics discussion thread.

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Ken wrote: Wed Jun 24, 2020 6:42 pm - I'd explain away why Peter Parker never made a fortune working for DuPont by revealing that while Peter designed and built his web shooters, he did not, in fact, invent web fluid. That rather is produced by a gland in his lower, lower back and that he has to regularly secrete fluid from said gland to put in the cartridges.

This will split the difference between the mechanical web shooters and the biological web shooters. Peter gaining the ability to produce a web line biologically makes sense, but spiders don't shoot webs from their limbs, they exude them from their butts.
I had this same idea! Well, sort of. The idea was that Peter biologically generated the webbing, but the webbing did come from his wrists. There was some spider species that did generate webbing from its feet in order to aid in climbing and other things.

The idea was that without the web shooters, Peter can only "shoot" a strand of webbing a few feet, and beyond that it's main use is to lower himself down from a height. This kind of webbing also tends to bio-degrade fairly quickly depending on what Peter eats and aren't that strong, being mostly able to support double his weight. The web-shooters cartridges Peter designed contain a formula of his design that increases the tensile strength of the web to its "can hold the Hulk" levels, as well as making it last for about an hour. The shooters themselves allow him to control the webbing's range, shape and texture, from sticky globs to nets to hard impact spheres.

I felt the bio-webbing was important because it's one of the more "spider-y" aspects of Peter, and it feels weird that it'd be completely artificial. But I also wanted to keep the Web-Shooters since they're an integral part of his history, and it demonstrates his intelligence.

This is kind of a best of both world's approach, that lets him have innate webbing, but he's still a genius for how he improved his natural ability to the versatility level he does have.
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Re: The most petty thing you'd do as a comics creator

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So, over on Discord I complained about how for the last SIX GOD DAMN YEARS there's been an ongoing subplot with Thor being unworthy to wield Mjolnir. It started when Nick Fury whispered something to Thor that made Thor unworthy to wield his hammer. It was eventually revealed that what was whispered was "Gorr was right". Gorr, the God Butcher, was a mortal who had decided that the gods of the Marvel Universe were cruel, uncaring and needed to be destroyed. So he managed to get his hands on this Elric style black sword that let him travel through time and space and kill gods. Apparently being told by Fury that Gorr was right was enough to make Thor unworthy to wield his hammer. And later on during his Unworthy series, Thor comments about how the gods really are terrible and that mortals would be better off without them.

What makes this stupid is . . . well, there's a LOT of stupid wrong with this, not the least of which being that "telling someone new information doesn't make them unworthy". Telling Thor Gorr was right in no way proved that Gorr was right, nor fundamentally changed Thor's character to the point that he would be unable to lift the hammer. Stupid point the second is that THOR ALREADY KNEW THERE WERE EVIL GODS IN THE UNIVERSE. He had fought them before, he acknowledged that many gods were terrible, but in striving to reflect the best aspects of mortals, Thor proved that not all gods were bad.

In any case, since that point, Thor has spent years being unable to wield his hammer, until it was eventually destroyed, and even while holding a fragment of it, he mentioned how heavy it was because he was still unworthy. He reforged a new hammer that was then destroyed, then reforged another one meant to be his original hammer, but again, it's proving heavy for him, with him being unworthy of it while many other people are proving to be worthy.

And this is all stupid. It was a stupid premise meant solely to get the hammer out of Thor's hands so Jane could take over, to allow for massive retcons to the Thor mythos, and for extra flavors of stupid, the whole "Mortal becomes empowered to kill gods" thing had been done a decade earlier with Desak, Destroyer of Gods. The difference being that Desak was created to look like an actual Jack Kirby style warrior god, whereas Gorr looks like a third rate Hellraiser Cenobite.

So, regardless of whatever they actually do to resolve this stupidity, I've decided to put my own spin on it. And combine it with another story idea I mentioned earlier. And it’s so longwinded I need to break it into two parts. Which I shall now do thusly.



Part The First:

Following the recent events in Thor's book, Thor is frustrated when he tries to lift Mjolnir, and it takes him a great deal of effort to do so. He recaps how things have gone since the day Nick Fury spoke to him, and he wonders what is wrong with him.

From the shadows steps Loki, brandishing a glowing green sword. Gram, The Sword of Truth, which he had once wielded before Thor had broken the blade. Loki reveals that while he'd been up to other mischief, he's had the blade reforged by the Dwarves and Light Elves, making it better than ever. He comments that he never saw Thor or Mjolnir while holding the blade before, but now he knows what the problem is. And with a swing of his sword, he cuts Mjolnir in half.

It's not Mjolnir. It never was.

We'd a storyline leading up to an event comic where Thor and Loki go on a kind of Buddy Cop adventure trying to find the hammer, and it'd be a lot of fun. They'd remember how they use to do stuff like this all the time when they were younger, they got along great despite Loki's shenanigans. Thor opens his mouth to speak, but closes it, still smiling but a little sad, and Loki knows what Thor is thinking; "Where did it all go wrong?" Loki immediately starts mentally getting defensive, coming up with the usual excuses in his brain . . . and then stops, finally realizing that he's just trying to avoid taking the consequences of his own actions. It was his fault things went the way they did. His fault he got jealous. All of his "fighting fate" adventures and in the end, he was the source of all of his own problems.

Eventually the pair learn where Mjolnir has been all this time, and learn something bigger has been in the works for a while now. Turns out the hammer is in Hell, and Mephisto has been up to shenanigans.

This would lead to the event Love Conquers All.

The world, in general, is shown to be in a bad place. People are generally more depressed, more quick to anger, more quick to violence. Superheroes are working overtime to keep the peace.

Which is when a lot of said heroes get attacked by villains who come back from the dead at some point. Spider-Man, Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist are in the process of dealing with normal street crime as a group when the Green Goblin, Mysterio, Kraven the Hunter, Doctor Octopus, Bullseye, Elektra and a few others in a massive brawl. Several Avengers get attacked by the Red Skull, Count Nefaria, the Sentry, the Phantom Rider and the Grim Reaper. There's attacks world wide and every tie-in book would have villain either return from the dead

Eventually the heroes manage to win, which is when Thor and Loki show up. Loki runs the Phantom Rider through with his sword to get the ghost talking, forcing him to tell the truth. He reveals that every villain that has ever come back to life did so with the help of Mephisto. While other circumstances allowed the villains to be revived, their souls would have moved on if not for Mephisto's intervention. In some cases, Mephisto even provided a little nudge to make the resurrection possible, such as giving Norman Osborn's body just enough of a kick start for its healing to eventually bring Norman back. In exchange for this, Mephisto gets to call on the villains at certain times, and he's calling their favors in now.

The Phantom Rider can't elaborate on Mephisto's actual plan, but he does reveal it has something to do with specific individuals. For instance, he explains that Mockingbird's soul is actually in Hell. She really did die originally, but the Phantom Rider used Secret Invasion as a good cover to bring her back. The problem was that while Mephisto could bring her body back to health, another force needed to keep it animated. But since Hawkeye still loved and missed Mockingbird, they were able to split Clint's soul in half and use it to keep her body and brain alive. However, the "spark" of her soul is gone, which is why Mockingbird's personality is so different. Likewise, Clint has become a screw up recently because half his soul is gone, so he's become more of a loser. It's why he doesn't wear his costume anymore: he subconsciously feels unworthy of it.

The heroes are surprised by this, and certain other members of the group realize similar things. Their relationships have all been . . . weird lately. Couples that were extremely devoted to each other broke up. People with little in common got married and acted like they were in complete "one true love" with one another. People's relationship with their family and parents broke down. Carol suddenly has conflicting memories of her father, one where he was simply stern and old fashioned, but hard working and loving, and another where he was abusive while her mom was a Kree. The Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver remember that Magneto was their father, and realize how troubled their relationship has become.

And it's about this time that Ultron attacks, still in it's half-Ultron/half-corpse of Hank Pym state. Only now Ultron is acting screwy. The heroes have known for a bit that Hank Pym is dead and that Ultron has basically been using Hank's memories to mess with the heroes. But now the Hank Pym side is actively conflicting with the Ultron side. After a fight, Loki backstabs Ultron-Pym like the rogue he is . . . and splits Ultron and Pym into two completely separate beings. Ultron has lost all of the data it had gained from Hank, has no idea what is going on, and leaves before the assembled heroes can do destroy him. Though he naturally vows vengeance.

The heroes are surprised to see Hank, who only vaguely remembers having been "somewhere else". But he has the vague idea he was sent back for a purpose, because he remembers something. He touches Mockingbird on the shoulder, and white light floods from Hank to Mockingbird, and she gets a glimpse of her soul in Hell. It's got something, and an entire endless army of evil, demonic souls is trying to capture her to get it back.

The heroes are literally going to have to storm Hell itself to get some answers.

The "returned villain attacks" ramp up, so not everyone can go on the mission. While imprisoning the bad guys, Spider-Man's spider sense goes off when Mysterio is near by. This causes a reaction with Loki's sword, and on a hunch, Loki nicks Spidey with the blade. Peter suddenly remembers the deal with Mephisto, but because of his Spider-Sense, he also recognizes Mysterio's presence during the bargain. A VERY angry Spider-Man gets in Mysterio's face, who reveals that, yes, he'd actually helped manipulate Peter and MJ into the deal with Mephisto. Peter calls MJ over who likewise has her memory restored. Other heroes make similar realizations.

Dr. Strange does some scans and sees that on a metaphysical level, the universe is grinding itself towards spiritual entropy. People feel less connected to each other. They don't find strength in one another. They don't find strong bonds with each other. Silly as it sounds, love itself is slowly being filtered out of the universe one happy relationship at a time. Strange theorizes that this is Mephisto's goal. The people that make deals with demons like Mephisto are those who are depressed, backed into a corner, trying to find some happiness in a bleak life. Love actually gives people the strength to go on, to find happiness and contentment in the world. Love is anathema to Mephisto's very existence, and he's been doing what he can to literally rob humanity of that emotion. If the heroes don't win, all of humanity could wind up serving Mephisto some day.

The heroes going to Hell make their preparations. Mary Jane is coming along, wearing one of Pepper Potts Rescue armors. Strange will have to remain on Earth to do portal duty, so their guide in Hell will be, appropriately enough, Hellcat. The group will consist of heroes like Hawkeye, Mockingbird, Iron Fist, Misty Knight, Spider-Man, Mary Jane, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Hank Pym, Jan, Thor and a few others. Loki has his own plan, which he leaves to handle.

As the heroes journey and fight their way through Hell, they consider certain things. Like Danny and Misty breaking up over Danny's chi giving them a "false positive" about Misty being pregnant . . . which is stupid. Along with Steel Serpent becoming evil again. Or how Hank and Jan broke up despite reuniting in Busiek's run, and noting how no one ever brought up how the whole slap thing was due to the after a literal personality break caused by unexpected exposure to chemicals. She-Hulk realizes she actually doesn't love who she is anymore, and started hating herself around the time she became the new muscle-bound She-Hulk. So on and so forth.

Eventually the heroes find Mockingbird's soul, who reveals that Mephisto has indeed been trying to remove love from the human condition. She says that this plan has been in the works for a while thanks to three acquisitions the demon made a while back. The first was a powerful servant who could travel through time. The second was a source of powerful love that could be used as the focal point of the ritual Mephisto has been slowly weaving throughout all this time. The third was a prisoner Mephisto took during a recent event. Mockingbird reveals that the source of love in question is the contract she has which holds Peter and MJ's marriage.

Meanwhile Loki has managed to find Odin, who is siting by himself. He's a bit grim, mulling over the decisions of his life, how he failed as a ruler to have let things get to this point. Loki says that it might not all be Odin's fault, and then gives Odin his sword. Odin's eye widens, and he remembers.
"My heart is as light as a child's, a feeling I'd nearly forgotten. And by helping those in need, I will be able to keep that feeling alive."
- Captain Marvel SHAZAM! : Power of Hope (2000)

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