Heh, God but we're a bunch of nerds, going on about the RPG stat write-up instead of really discussing the story. I guess this is just an example of how, while a lot of fun, D&D isn't the best system for doing stat-blocks of famous heroes.
And again, it was weird because Sonja BEAT both John Carter and Valeros when they fought, though in both cases there were extenuating circumstances. But in terms of raw skill and fighting ability, it was pretty clear that Sonja, John and Val were all pretty close. If anything I'd say Sonja and Val were pretty evenly matched (Val's strength gets compared to that of a Cimmerian), and John was likely less skilled than the duo, but had his various physical enhancements, leaping abilities and the like to make up for it.
Sonja also challenged Val to a drinking contest, since he'd impressed her so much during the fight, and promised him if he won, she'd impress him right back. As Val just stares at her, she clarifies, "I mean sex." To which Val replies, "No, I got that, I was just picturing it in my head. Let's start." And the two drink each other under the table, to the point where they pass out before any naughty shenanigans can be gotten up to. At least not until the victory party where they decided to give it another go.
What's as funny is watching John Carter and Kyra in the bar with Val and Sonja, listening to their increasingly loud bar songs and piling up bottles of ale. They look EXACTLY like two designated drivers having to babysit two drunk friends, and are completely miserable until they finally decide to cut their losses and get out.
I did like that they actually gave little character moments. John and Kyra talk, and Kyra mentions how she's in a lesbian relationship, and hopes that's not too weird for John. John comments that his wife has red skin and was hatched from an egg, and that love is love, you should treasure it wherever you find it. And he gets a very in character bit where he waxes romantically about his wife, what he's done for her, and how he has faith that if two people love each other, then the universe will always provide a way for them to return to each other, if you're brave enough to take them. Kyra commented about how sweet that was, and I had to agree.
Just one more reason why I HATED the way John was portrayed character wise in his film. They got rid of the brave, romantic southern gentleman and replaced him with some morose, brooding asshole. It was good to see that Pathfinder guys at least get it.
They also limited John's leaping ability to a "three times per day" thing, which was dumb.
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