Jab's Builds! (Brainiac 5! White Witch! Kinetix! Supergirl! Element Lad!)

Where in all of your character write ups will go.
Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Grandpa

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:42 am

Image

STAN'S GRANDPA (Marvin Marsh)
Role:
Crotchety Old Man

-Randy Marsh's father, Marvin repeatedly attempts to convince young "Billy" (Stan) to kill him and end his misery- convincing Stan of the agony of old age by playing Enya's Orinoco Flow, he nearly gets his wish... until his OWN Grandfather's spirit appears before him, warning than suicides end up in Limbo. Marvin resigns himself to old age, popping up here and there in episodes. He slept with the contortionist grandmother of the gymnastic quints in an early episode (unfortunately, the experience kills her), and in a later one, begins wasting his money on cheap, tacky jewelry because of home shopping channels taking advantage of the elderly- this one actually makes much less light of senility, showing the actual tragedy of losing control of your senses while your memories of loved ones fade away. In a particularly sad moment (especially for THIS show), Marvin talks about his beloved old dog... but confesses he no longer remembers what she looks like.

Thorpocalypse
Posts: 923
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:52 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (South Park! Stan! Wendy! Pip! Chef! Brian Boitano!)

Post by Thorpocalypse » Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:56 am

I remember the first time I showed my best bud Doug South Park back in 96'. He literally fell off the couch laughing. I mean that laughing where you can't catch your breath, laughing. It was great. It's not that good anymore, but it's still one of my all time favorite shows.

Can't wait for Cartman. I assume the superhero identities will also getting stattings?

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Jimbo

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 3:42 am

Image

"Well, we'll be doing a LOT of drinking on this trip. After all, hunting sober is like... FISHING... sober."

JIMBO KERN
Role:
Former Major Supporting Character, Stupid Hunter
PL 6 (25)
STRENGTH
1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Expertise (Cable Access TV Show Host) 4 (+3)
Expertise (Hunting) 5 (+4)
Expertise (Gun Store Owner) 3 (+2)
Perception 4 (+3)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Rifle +5, Missile Launcher +6 Area, Flame Thrower- Cone Damage 6), Improved Critical (Rifle), Ranged Attack 4

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (+1 Damage, DC 16)
Rifle +4 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Missile Launcher/Flame Thrower +6 Area (+6 Damage, DC 21)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +2

Complications: 
Secret (Possibly Homosexual)- Jimbo does not get bleeped when he says the word "F*g" (see? I'm not gay, so I got bleeped). Mr. Garrison suggests that this means that Jimbo is gay like him.
Obsession (Hunting)- Jimbo adores hunting and killing, so he has to follow the rules, such as "thin out their numbers" or pretend it's in self-defense, before unleashing missiles and machine guns at harmless animals.

Total: Abilities: 2 / Skills: 16--8 / Advantages: 9 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (25)

-Hard to believe there was once a time where Stan's UNCLE was a more important character than his own father, but there you go. Jimbo was treated as a pretty typical hillbilly, with Stone & Parker getting a lot of digs in on hunter-types. He and his sidekick Ned would engage in mass slaughter of hordes of animals, using any number of excuses. They would also host a cable access TV show, the ratings of which drew them in contention with Jesus Christ and his Jesus and Pals cable call-in show. The competition over ratings led to some pretty silly gimmicks (such as inventing the Staring Tree Frog of Southern Sri Lanka) before cooler heads prevailed.

-Jimbo & Ned's history as Vietnam vets was played for laughs, as typical genre conventions like horrific flashbacks instead showed a literal carnival going on inside the jungles of the 'Nam, with one vet crying that they didn't have a log ride at theirs ("That war was hell on all of us", comforts Jimbo). He's also seen conspiring to get the South Park Cows to win their Elementary School Football game, sabotaging the rival team's mascot to explode when Richard Stamos hits the "High-F" in Loving You- sadly, "He always screws it up like that", and the note fails until the very end.

-And, much like Chef & Officer Barbrady, Jimbo & Ned began to get less and less focus as time went on. Three or four episodes in which they were major characters soon gave way to his half-brother Randy taking prominence as the "Token Badly-Behaved Adult" character, and eventually the pair all but disappeared save for background scenes, and the occasional bit where they're seen as instigators and abettors of other characters.

-A dangerous, heavily-armed hunter, Jimbo is actually relatively dangerous.
Last edited by Jabroniville on Tue Mar 13, 2018 5:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Ned

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 5:49 am

Image

NED GERBLANSKY
Role:
Former Major Supporting Character, Stupid Hunter, Deformed Guy
PL 6 (19)
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 2 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE -1 AWARENESS -1 PRESENCE -1

Skills:
Expertise (Cameraman) 2 (+1)
Expertise (Hunting) 5 (+4)
Perception 3 (+2)

Advantages:
Equipment 4 (Rifle +5, Missile Launcher +6 Area, Flame Thrower- Cone Damage 6), Improved Critical (Rifle), Ranged Attack 4

Offense:
Unarmed +2 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Rifle +4 (+5 Ranged Damage, DC 20)
Missile Launcher/Flame Thrower +6 Area (+6 Damage, DC 21)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +1

Complications:
Disabled (Crippled)- Ned has one arm and may only speak by utilizing a voice box.
Obsession (Hunting)- Ned adores hunting and killing, so he has to follow the rules, such as "thin out their numbers" or pretend it's in self-defense, before unleashing missiles and machine guns at harmless animals.

Total: Abilities: 0 / Skills: 10--5 / Advantages: 9 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 5 (19)

-Ned is more of a visual gag than a character, being Jimbo's drinking & hunting buddy, notable mainly for his deformities. A lot of early gags from the series were involving Ned's distinctive "Voice Box" speech (he even sang Feel Like Makin' Love on the Chef Aid album). Both he & Jimbo were based off of characters Trey Parker drew while in school. Like Jimbo, he appeared less and less with each season, but all but vanished entirely- rarely speaking after Season 6.

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Power Rangers! South Park! Stan! Wendy! Pip! Chef!)

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 5:58 am

HalloweenJack wrote:
Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:04 pm
Jabroniville wrote:
Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:18 am
Oh thank God this exists:

"They took our JOBS!" Compilation
well i'm dying laughing now. thanks for that
It's one of those jokes that's impossible to describe just in text. Like many South Park gags, it's not funny as a line on its own- Simpsons quotes usually are, as they're ultra-clever lines by great wordsmiths working in a room together. South Park is basically written by two guys in a weekend, so it's more "what's amusing us today?" kind of humor, and every once in a while they just nail something. I'm glad they don't over-use the gag (it's only in two episodes, I think), but HOLY GOD, Stan's "THEY T'K YER JERB!" is the funniest single moment in the entire show's history for me. The idea of his high-pitched kid voice doing it makes me smile just sitting here.

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (South Park! Stan! Wendy! Pip! Chef! Brian Boitano!)

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:21 am

Thorpocalypse wrote:
Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:56 am
I remember the first time I showed my best bud Doug South Park back in 96'. He literally fell off the couch laughing. I mean that laughing where you can't catch your breath, laughing. It was great. It's not that good anymore, but it's still one of my all time favorite shows.

Can't wait for Cartman. I assume the superhero identities will also getting stattings?
Yeah, I'm gonna stat up all the super-heroes in one guy, probably using a template. I just wanted to finish all the boys first.

I recall the early days watching the show. 1998 or so, and I was in Grade 11 in High School. I thought it was the funniest damn thing I'd ever seen- I had only heard about it from an article in The Rolling Stone, as it'd just hit and become "the thing". It aired twice every Friday, on the local channels- if you were lucky, BOTH would be new episodes, but I'd watch them all just the same. Even my mom laughed at the occasional joke ("But Cartman, you DO have pinkeye!" "AW, son of a BITCH!" got her pretty good; as did Jimbo's "Why hunting sober is like... FISHING. Sober.").

I loved it so much I made the characters in MS Paint and used them in school projects and "advertisements" for a school computer course where you had to design things visually. Sure, we were out of new episodes pretty quickly, but they struck while the iron was hot and made more.

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Principal Victoria

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:29 am

Image

Principal Victoria: "I see. I've noticed all the things you've done for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Did you know I'm a breast cancer survivor?"
Wendy: "Ma'am?"
Principal Victoria: "I was diagnosed seven years ago. Cancer (ie. Cartman) is... pure evil. It is a fat little lump that needs to be... destroyed. When there is a cancer, you have to "fight" it. You can't reason with cancer, you can't wish it away. Cancer doesn't play by the rules, so neither can you."
Wendy: "My... parents said that if I fight-"
Principal Victoria: "And you can't listen to what anybody else tells you. You have to be willing to give up everything, because the cancer will take everything. Do you understand?"


PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Role:
Replacement Teacher
PL 0 (12), PL 1 (12) Defenses
STRENGTH
0 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 0
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Expertise (Teacher) 4 (+6)
Insight 2 (+4)
Persuasion 2 (+2)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (+0 Damage, DC 15)
Initiative +0

Defenses:
Dodge +0 (DC 10), Parry +0 (DC 10), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +2

Complications:
Secret (Once Killed a Man)
Enemy (Mr. Mackey)- Mackey, usually her enforcer, eventually tired of his role and got her fired.
Responsibility (Female)- All females become famished for blowjobs after seeing Broadway musicals, via extremely-subtle subliminal messaging.

Total: Abilities: 8 / Skills: 8--4 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 0 (12)

-Sporting a folksy Minnesotan accent like so many supporting females in animation, Principal Victoria doesn't get a lot of play for such a long-runner, with roles at the school typically being taken up by Mr. Garrison or Mr. Mackey. She's usually just an easily-cowed authority figure. Her biggest role was perhaps in firing Mr. Garrison for being gay, then reversing course for fear of a lawsuit; and much later, when she pushed Wendy into delivering a violent beating to Cartman, for his repeated mocking of "Titty Cancer"- here, it was shown that she was a breast cancer survivor.

-With the two shifting to making fun of Political Correctness, she was fired (due to an incident where a student referred to rape as a "Hot Cosby") and replaced by P.C. Principal. Her name is a pun on the actress Victoria Principal.

User avatar
L-Space
Posts: 424
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:40 pm
Location: Nebraska

Re: Grandpa

Post by L-Space » Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:53 pm

Jabroniville wrote:
Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:42 am
-Randy Marsh's father, Marvin repeatedly attempts to convince young "Billy" (Stan) to kill him and end his misery- convincing Stan of the agony of old age by playing Enya's Orinoco Flow, he nearly gets his wish... until his OWN Grandfather's spirit appears before him, warning than suicides end up in Limbo. Marvin resigns himself to old age, popping up here and there in episodes. He slept with the contortionist grandmother of the gymnastic quints in an early episode (unfortunately, the experience kills her), and in a later one, begins wasting his money on cheap, tacky jewelry because of home shopping channels taking advantage of the elderly- this one actually makes much less light of senility, showing the actual tragedy of losing control of your senses while your memories of loved ones fade away. In a particularly sad moment (especially for THIS show), Marvin talks about his beloved old dog... but confesses he no longer remembers what she looks like.
That episode actually hit a bit close to home for me (both my grandma and grandma on my mom's side had Alzheimer's), but I still found it hilarious especially the end where the seniors are calling in to mock the spokesperson.
Image
Formerly luketheduke86

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Stan! Wendy! Pip! Chef! Brian Boitano! Jimbo & Ned!)

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:35 pm

"Hello? I'm calling about the necklace?"
"Great!"
"... It'd look real good on your dead body!"

MacynSnow
Posts: 886
Joined: Tue Dec 20, 2016 2:56 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Stan! Wendy! Pip! Chef! Brian Boitano! Jimbo & Ned!)

Post by MacynSnow » Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:25 pm

That episode is actually one of my Favorite Stan-sodes(i always dub a fav episode by the main character name,it's just easier to track for me),as it showed him doing something about a problem that i couldn't figure out how to help in.......

User avatar
HalloweenJack
Posts: 481
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2016 8:50 pm

Re: Jab's Builds! (Stan! Wendy! Pip! Chef! Brian Boitano! Jimbo & Ned!)

Post by HalloweenJack » Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:32 pm

Jimbo is Randy's half brother? I thought he was Sharon's brother


Perhaps it's just them not bothering to remember or intentionally doing it to see of people catch it.


Like Miss Crabtree's lover in City of the Edge of Forever having a different name everytime she talked to him, though since that was all a dream it could have been a clue

or how Sheila's mother was a Broflovski.....though I could totally see Gerald having taken HER name when they got married all things considered

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Dog Poo

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:53 pm

Image

DOG POO PETUSKI
Role:
Backgrounder, Human Prop

-I include Dog Poo for no other reason than the character amusing me greatly- basically an ode to Pig-Pen from Peanuts (who himself almost never speaks, and is a total Backgrounder), all he does is sit around in the back and... resemble Pig-Pen. It's just such an obvious, cute gag that I love it. His one speaking role is in the episode where the boys are trying to find a replacement for Kenny as their "Fourth Friend"- he suggests that for once people won't just see him as window dressing. Alas, he does not win.

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Gregory

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:55 pm

Image

GREGORY
Role:
Social Activist
PL 2 (28)
STRENGTH
-1 STAMINA 0 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 0 DEXTERITY 0
INTELLIGENCE 1 AWARENESS 2 PRESENCE 3

Skills:
Deception 2 (+5)
Expertise (Activism) 6 (+7)
Expertise (Singing) 6 (+7)
Perception 2 (+4)
Persuasion 4 (+7)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +0 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Initiative +1

Defenses:
Dodge +3 (DC 13), Parry +2 (DC 12), Toughness +0, Fortitude +0, Will +4

Complications: 
Motivation (Activism)- Gregory is intensely anti-war and anti-censorship.
Relationship (Wendy)- Gregory takes a liking to Wendy, though this is apparently not romantic- at least on her end.
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: 12 / Skills: 20--10 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (28)

-Gregory only appears in the Movie, being an English, upper-crust, somewhat-arrogant boy who beats the drum of activism, attempting to enroll the boys in revolution against their parents, and the American government's obsession with destroying Canada. Horrified by the impending war, he basically takes over the boys' plans, founding La Resistance in a parody of Les Miserables- an act with endears him to Wendy, much to the jealousy of Stan. He helps the kids repeatedly, starts off the La Resistance Medley of all the songs in the movie, and puts them into contact with Ze Mole. Sadly, his gifts are unrewarded romantically- by the movie's end, Wendy falls right into Stan's arms, declaring "FUCK Gregory! Fuck him right in the ear!"

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Ze Mole

Post by Jabroniville » Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:47 pm

Image

The Mole: "God? He is the biggest bitch of them all!"
Stan: "I have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me aga—"
The Mole: "Hey! You need to stop thinking with your dick! You have to be on your toes. Because I am not going to be grounded again! Not for you! Not for anybody!"
The Mole: "What do you think this is, kid? TV kiddy hour where we all sit around and lick Barney the dinosaur's fucking pussy? Huh? This is real life, with consequences you take to the grave!"
Kyle: "Be careful, dude."
The Mole: "Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in ze womb?"


THE MOLE (Christophe DeLorne)
Role:
One-Off Character, Infiltrator
PL 4 (48)
STRENGTH
-1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 2 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 0

Skills:
Athletics 6 (+5)
Expertise (Infiltration) 6 (+8)
Expertise (Animal Noises) 8 (+8)
Insight 2 (+5)
Investigation 6 (+9)
Perception 4 (+7)
Technology 4 (+6)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Initiative +1

Defenses:
Dodge +5 (DC 15), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +5

Complications: 
Motivation (La Resistance)
Rivalry (God)- The Mole refers to God as "The biggest bitch of them all".
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: 24 / Skills: 36--18 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 6 (48)

-The Mole is a one-off character for the Movie, and is recruited by the kids after Gregory recommends him. A character more befitting Les Miserables than South Park (specifically the character of Grantaire), he is a child with revolutionary instincts and has a tendency to throw slurs, both homophobic and otherwise, in God's direction. When Cartman fails to deactivate the security alarms, he is fatally-injured by guard dogs, in spite of his pitch-perfect imitation of a dying giraffe. With an Eponine-like refrain, he mutters "Though I die... La Resistance... lives on...".

Jabroniville
Posts: 6634
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:05 pm

Kyle

Post by Jabroniville » Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:15 am

Image

KYLE BROFLOVSKI (aka The Human Kite)
Role:
Main Character, The Only Sane Man, Everyday Kid
PL 4 (44)
STRENGTH
-1 STAMINA 1 AGILITY 1
FIGHTING 4 DEXTERITY 2
INTELLIGENCE 0 AWARENESS 3 PRESENCE 1

Skills:
Athletics 3 (+2)
Expertise (Singing) 5 (+5)
Expertise (Awareness Videos) 3 (+3)
Expertise (Athlete) 4 (+4)
Insight 2 (+4)
Investigation 6 (+8)
Perception 4 (+6)
Technology 3 (+3)

Advantages:
None

Offense:
Unarmed +4 (-1 Damage, DC 14)
Initiative +1

Defenses:
Dodge +5 (DC 15), Parry +4 (DC 14), Toughness +1, Fortitude +1, Will +6

Complications: 
Relationship (Stan)- Stan & Kyle are best friends, and actually get along, unlike most of the others. Stan can still be annoying, however, as he's easily cowed by peer pressure or Wendy.
Relationship (Gerald- Father)- Kyle's father Gerald is usually a pushover, but can be a good source of morals. 
Relationship (Sheila- Mother)- Kyle's mother, on the other hand, is a very difficult woman. Controlling, demanding, and full of fury, she gets a bug up her butt "one time, each month", and often drags Kyle along with her. He openly fears his mother's disapproval, once suggesting that murdering an injured Butters is a better solution than having her find out that he was using weapons. Despite his fear, he is furious at Cartman's repeated insults of his mother.
Enemy (Cartman)- Kyle openly despises and disrespects his "friend" Cartman, to the point of fighting him in hand-to-hand combat several times, and laughing when Eric is diagnosed with AIDS. Kyle hates Cartman so much that seeing him win his dream (owning a theme park) caused a severe health crisis- only the sight of Cartman losing his dream ("LOOK, Kyle! And it's so much worse because he HAD his dream and then LOST it!") causes him to immediately recover his health.
Relationship (Ike- Brother)- Despite the occasional game of "Kick the baby!", Kyle is very protective of his brother Ike, refusing to see him rounded up in a witch-hunt of Canadians, and desperate to keep him from the clutches of a sexy pedophile. He is completely disgusted that the police openly mock Ike's "predicament" ("Let's give him his Luckiest Boy in America medal immediately!").
---
Prejudice (Jewish)- Kyle is Jewish, which often leads to open scorn from Cartman, and the occasional shame over the death of Jesus Christ (after seeing The Passion of the Christ, he asks that his people apologize for killing Jesus- horrifying the Synagogue goers. Another time, he's forced to kill Jesus to save the day- his horror at doing so is compounded by his faith- "We have a real THING against killing Jesus!" and "Eric Cartman can NOT find out about this"). He also feels like "A lonely Jew on Christmas", left out of the fun the other people of South Park have. His lack of rhythm may or may not be a result of his ethnicity, as well.
Relationship (Mr. Hankey)- Kyle is easily the most devoted to Mr. Hankey.
Responsibility (Morals)- Kyle is very self-righteous, and often declares a "moral" that he's learned after an adventure. When the other boys form the Crack Baby Athletics Association, Kyle is voted to be their lawyer thanks to his ethnicity. He is mortified by their organization, and attempts to come up with ways to justify (mostly to himself) its existence while keeping his soul- his methods are seen as brilliant by Cartman ("It's a Get Out Of Jail FREE Card!" he cries, when he finds out Kyle's plan to build a mansion where the crack babies can live).
Responsibility (Un-Trendy)- Kyle is openly resistant to follow the herd, and tends to buck trends. This often leaves him left out, such as when he didn't get into the Chinpokomon trend, and when he refused to become a Metrosexual.
Enemy (Trent Boyett)- Trent was framed by the boys for setting fires in their preschool classroom, and now seeks to hunt down all four boys. Given that Trent can badly injure dozens of Sixth Graders, this is quite a terrifying predicament.
Reputation (Inviting Trouble)- Clyde points out that nobody else in school likes Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, because of their consistent tendency to search out trouble, inviting all manner of calamity to South Park, such as when they accidentally called forth an army of destructive giant Guinea Pigs to town.
---
Responsibility (Jersey-Bred)- Kyle was in New Jersey during his first few months of fetal development. This causes a horrific involuntary transformation into a Jersey "bro".
Disabled (Reading)- Kyle cannot read the entire iTunes User Agreement. This once got him into some trouble.
Disabled (Diabetes)
Rivalry (Kyle Schwartz)- Kyle's cousin, also named Kyle, is so stereotypically Jewish "that he even makes ME hate Jews!"
Relationship (Heidi Turner)- Kyle was attracted to Heidi's sweet personality, and was horrified to watch her fall in romantically with ERIC CARTMAN. Never mind her actually BECOMING like him.
Relationship (Other Girls)- Kyle has a lot of short-lived crushes, none of which ever work out. He falls for the sexy teacher Ms. Ellen, and attempts to become a lesbian once he finds out she's one (the boys come across him licking the carpeted floor of his home). A home-schooled girl finally opens up to him... but also kisses the other boys at the dance. He likes Nichole, but she gets with Token thanks to Cartman's manipulations (he believes that only people of the same race should be together).
Secret (Bag of Gold Around Neck)- All Jewish people keep a bag of gold around their necks.
Secret (Actual Bag of Gold Around Neck)- The first bag is always a decoy; Cartman realizes this, and forces Kyle to give up the real one.
Disabled (Child)- Children are very short, have tiny arms, and aren't as fast as adults. They can never Intimidate an adult without a weapon, no matter their Presence, and are very lightweight, making them easy to pick up.

Total: Abilities: 22 / Skills: 30--15 / Advantages: 0 / Powers: 0 / Defenses: 7 (44)

-Kyle is one of 3-4 "Main Characters" of the show, and was a huge focus from the very beginning. He's based off of the half-Jewish co-creator of the show, Matt Stone, which is probably why the show's able to get away with the most Anti-Semitic humor you've ever seen on television. Cartman LOVES to rip on Kyle's faith (once wasting an hour of time in Towelie's intervention just to rip on Jews, because Kyle was disallowed from interrupting him), and also Kyle's mother, leading to a lot of frustration. Kyle and Stan are very similar in personality, being moralistic, somewhat rational people in a very stupid world, though they often take turns being morally outraged over any given situation.

-Kyle is frequently assistant to Stan's endeavors, such as his crush on Wendy or his animal-based activism, but Kyle often chafes under social expectations, such as following trends. On several occasions, he feels "left out"- sometimes because his faith keeps him from celebrating certain things (he discovers Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo due to his own loneliness over the mostly-Christian town's holiday festivities discluding him), and sometimes because he resists the current "hot trend", like metrosexuality.

-A big source of humor on the show is his relationship with Cartman- not only is Cartman a racist, he's also a giant asshole, a liar, and a manipulator- all things Kyle hates. Their give & take leads to a number of physical fights, general insults, elaborate revenge schemes (Cartman makes sure there is a legally-binding agreement that Kyle does, in fact, have to suck Cartman's balls once it turns out that he DID, in fact, see a Leprechan), and even the revelation that Cartman NEEDS this argumentative relationship in order to enjoy life- he once saves Kyle and his family from a cloud of liberal smugness is San Francisco just to have somebody to argue with again.

-Statistically, Kyle is not as good as Stan, lacking the "Good Showings" in physical combat, as well as the inability to get others to go along with him- Stan is a leader, while Kyle is a bit of a preachy type, and not as good with people.

As a Ninja: Kyle's power allowed him to see into the future (but not as well as Bullrog could). His Nunchaku could fire out beams of ice.
As The Human Kite: In the video game, Kyle could Fly (using the New Kid's farts), Heal others, allow them Protection, or fire Lasers from the Kite.

Post Reply