HalloweenJack wrote: ↑Fri Jun 22, 2018 9:51 pm
*walks in and sits down, facing you, THE VIEWER*
I'd like to talk about Gamera for a minute. I'm a big Gamera fan. I own all the movies with the exception of Gamera the Brave, which I intend to rectify as soon as I can.
But Gamera.....Gamera had a place in my life at an early age. A place that led to PAIN.
I'm not sure how old I was when I became aware of Gamera. I know I learned it from my neighbors. I've mentioned them before at some point I imagine. They were distant relatives that moved down from Ohio and moved into my family's old house (as I've mentioned as far back as I can remember my parents had been building what I refer to as the new house....the house I lived in most of my life and live in now as a gift from my mom and dad rather than them sell it).
The family, the Caldwells, were a nice little group: a mother, a father (who was stricken with polio), two sons, and the father's elderly mother. I loved all these people greatly and only one of them (the younger son) is alive today. These people were pretty important in my early to mid childhood. I remember many days that I watched everything from Power Rangers to f'n Evil Dead 2 with them. We were all into pro wrestling. I helped the dad out with A Link to the Past many a day (he had Polio, all he could really do was play video games on their Genesis and SNES) The older son got me into comics more than I already was, got me into the Marvel trading cards, and even GAVE me his entire comics collection. Between that and the Cobra HISS he gave me for Christmas (which was his) I was just astounded by how generous he was. These people didn't have virtually anything but were so giving. It's something you don't appreciate at the time but when you look back to it, you wish you could tell them what they meant to you.
At any rate...Gamera.
They told me of Gamera. Now this is early 90s. I had seen alot of monster movies, virtually every Godzilla movie released to that point minus a couple. But Gamera....a giant turtle that flew via rocket holes? I thought they were messing with me. They weren't. They were telling me the truth.
THEY WERE WARNING ME.
What do I mean by that? Well, you see.....I had a hell of a time watching a Gamera movie. Any Gamera movie.
See the Sci-Fi Channel had just started, and to save money they showed ALOT of cheap crap at first. ALOT of it from Sandy Frank. Like Fugitive Alien, Time of the Apes, the Legend of the Dinosaurs (and Monster Birds).
And there was Gamera. GAMERA. GAMERAAAAAAAAAA!
I'm getting to a point, trust me.
The first Gamera movie I ever really caught (oh jeez) was Gamera vs Zigra. Only I didn't really catch it. I caught the last five minutes of it. See, I had gotten a copy of Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla that day and was avidly watching it, and after it was done I turned on the Sci-Fi Channel and found well....Gamera playing a xylophone on a giant fishes' scales before incinerating it.
Moving on, I remember a time school was cancelled very early in the morning. Rather than watch TV, I played with my toys all morning until my dad told me "Hey there's a movie on you may like". I came into the TV room and there was that damned Akio with his shaved head giving his grievances about war and traffic accidents aka the last five minutes of Gamera vs Guiron.
I did managed to catch the last half hour of Gamera vs Barugon though....and later actually got to watch the full run time of both Gamera vs Guiron and Gamera vs Gyaos/Gaos...but there's more.
Gamera the Invincible...now there was a kick to the proverbial balls if I ever I had one. So many times I tried to watch that. So many...and every time....EVERY SINGLE TIME...something prevented it. It came on late one Sunday night during Christmas break on radiation theater. I made it to the lighthouse scene and fell asleep. One morning that same winter, school was on a two hour delay....and Gamera the Invincible came on that morning....and I had to go to school right after it came on. And on further thought, the movies the Sci-Fi Channel would show in the mornings were the movies they would show the afternoon before....which means I would have gotten to watch it as there was no school THAT day but for some reason my mom was mad at me and wouldn't let me watch TV. I never saw Gamera the Invincible until college.
BUT WAIT...THERE'S MORE!
Top Turtle Tuesday. In case you didn't know, the August where I would return to school my sixth grade year had a thing where every Tuesday they'd show one of the Gamera movies that Sci-Fi had the viewing rights to. Of course I missed Gamera the Invincible thanks to SCHOOL SHOPPING....but hey....my dad was gonna be off most of those Tuesdays that month....HE COULD TAPE THEM.
So yeah I got Gamera vs Barugon....cool story bro....then the next week dad went to tape Gamera vs Gaos.....and the weirdest damned thing happened. We had one of those old jumbo satellite systems with the giant dish (where you could actually watch TV when it rained, God I miss that), but....for some reason...maybe sun spots...I don't know....Gamera vs Gaos only had sound in certain parts.....and it was only when the screen was light...as in day scenes....or explosions or what not....night scenes....of which most of the movie IS IN....were dead silent. No sound, only picture.
The next week Dad had gotten in late from work and only was able to record the last half hour or so of Gamera vs Guiron, which I wasn't disappointed by really.....but Gamera vs Zigra? In a truly bizarre twist....the tape cut off.....RIGHT AT THE MOMENT WHERE THIS ALL FIRST BEGAN....Gamera flying out of the ocean to play xylophone on Zigra.
Time goes on. A boy becomes a teenager and I find "Hey there are new Gamera movies!" and even watch Gamera: Guardian of the Universe on Showtime! And thanks to Fangoria I find out more are coming! And years later, I find that trilogy on DVD when I'm out in Lexington (KY's biggest city) with some friends from college....and thanks to eating at Outback....I'm out of money and can't buy the damn thing. And not one of the assholes I was with would help a brother out.
*screaming inside*
I'd eventually find other old Showa Gamera movies I hadn't seen like Gamera vs Jiger and Gamera vs Viras....and I'd even find more like Gamera vs Guiron....except it was the AIP cut that removed all the violence which is the only reason to watch that one!
And then I found the 90's trilogy on Blu-Ray.......but the subtitles blend in with the backgrounds.
Eventually I got them all....with good subtitles and uncut.....and I was happy......
But this series....this series hurt me....and wanted to keep on hurting me. It left me as I left it....buried alive.......buried alive.
...GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
(Gameraaaaaaaa, Gameraaaaaaaaaa....hirohito GAMERA)
edit: it should be noted the first time I tried to watch Gamera The Brave via youtube, the subtitles were all in a foreign language.......Gamera hates me